Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while other claim it is an inborn characteristic.

Since 1990, Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer have been the leading researchers on emotional intelligence. In their influential article “Emotional Intelligence,” they defined emotional intelligence as, “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions” (1990).

Salovey and Mayer proposed a model that identified four different factors of emotional intelligence: the perception of emotion, the ability reason using emotions, the ability to understand emotion, and the ability to manage emotions.
According to Salovey and Mayer, the four branches of their model are, "arranged from more basic psychological processes to higher, more psychologically integrated processes. For example, the lowest level branch concerns the (relatively) simple abilities of perceiving and expressing emotion. In contrast, the highest level branch concerns the conscious, reflective regulation of emotion" (1997).

Measuring Emotional Intelligence
“In regard to measuring emotional intelligence – I am a great believer that criterion-report (that is, ability testing) is the only adequate method to employ. Intelligence is an ability, and is directly measured only by having people answer questions and evaluating the correctness of those answers.” --John D. Mayer
Reuven Bar-On’s EQ-i
A self-report test designed to measure competencies including awareness, stress tolerance, problem solving, and happiness. According to Bar-On, “Emotional intelligence is an array of noncognitive capabilities, competencies, and skills that influence one’s ability to succeed in coping with environmental demands and pressures.”

Multifactor Emotional Intelligence Scale (MEIS)
An ability-based test in which test-takers perform tasks designed to assess their ability to perceive, identify, understand, and utilize emotions.

Seligman Attributional Style Questionnaire (SASQ)
Originally designed as a screening test for the life insurance company Metropolitan Life, the SASQ measures optimism and pessimism.

Emotional Competence Inventory (ECI)
Based on an older instrument known as the Self-Assessment Questionnaire, the ECI involves having people who know the individual offer ratings of that person’s abilities on a number of different emotional competencies.

Emotional Intelligence and ADD/ADHD
You have the skills to complete the job, you certainly have the ability to complete the task, you have the intelligence to know the work, you even have the willingness, but yet, somehow, you still can't quite get it together. Somehow, you are still the one that is passed by for promotions or you just can't seem to hold onto a job long enough to make the strides you want so desperately. Somehow, you always end up feeling like a failure, with not much to show for your effort.

The problem can't be pinpointed down, you aren't even sure why it happens over and over again. You get to work on time, you work hard at compensating for your ADD/ADHD traits and you manage to make the deadlines at work. Just what is the problem and why can't you get past it?

Many adults with ADD/ADHD tend to move from job to job.


They drift along, trying to find a place they belong and where they can succeed. The more jobs they have, the harder it becomes to get another job. And yet, they aren't sure where they have gone wrong or what seems to happen. It is just another job that doesn't fit, another job gone bad.

Emotional Maturity Slower to Develop

According to several studies, the emotional maturity of some individuals with ADD/ADHD are well below their non-ADD counterparts. The brain's frontal lobes, which are affected by ADHD, continue to mature until the age of 35. The process of maturation is slower for those individuals with ADHD. Some may not reach the level of emotional maturity of a 21 year old until well into their 30's.

In 1990, John Mayer and Peter Salovey, American professors, coined the phrase "Emotional Intelligence." They used this phrase to describe the ability to understand and and manage feelings in yourself and others as well as using these feeling to in our decision making. In 1998, John Mayer, wrote, Working With Emotional Intelligence. This book took this concept to the workplace and he explains that success comes mainly to those whose emotional intelligence is developed. In his book he explains that skills, education, and a high IQ are all secondary to emotional intelligence. Those who have gained success and have worked their way up the ladder and have strong coping skills are those who have learned to develop their emotional intelligence.

The four basic components of Emotional Intelligence are:

Awareness - The first part is to become aware of your own emotions, to understand how you feel and therefore understanding your strengths and weaknesses and being able to make decisions for your life based on your own emotions.

Regulation or Management - This is the ability to balance your emotions, as well as use your emotions to set goals, create plans and motivate yourself to achieve your goals. It is the ability to use your emotions to help you in a situation, rather than hinder your progress and the ability to delay gratification and reward in order to focus on your task at hand.

Awareness of Others - This is commonly considered as "empathy." It is the ability to understand the emotional nature of those around you, a friend, partner, boss or your children and to use that knowledge to create better relationships.

Social Skills - This skill allows you to work well with others, take the last step of understanding their emotions and read the proper signals in order to fluently handle social situations, solve relationship problems, learn to motivate others, create cooperation and teamwork.

These skills, although sometimes elusive to adults with ADD/ADHD, can be learned. They are not necessarily skills you either have or don't have. With work, you can improve your "EI" and help your performance at work.

Tips to Increasing Emotional Intelligence:

Take the time to label how you feel. Several times during the day, take a moment to actually think about how you feel. Right now are you happy, sad, irritated, angry, hopeless, hopeful? If you are experiencing a negative emotion, think about how this emotion might negatively impact what you are doing right now and how you might manage that emotion to make sure your current task does not suffer because of your emotions.

Take responsibility for your feelings. Instead of blaming someone else for making you feel a certain way, understand they cannot make you feel anything, you do that on your own. For example, someone's actions can trigger an angry response in you, but they did not force you to be angry.
Change your thoughts to "I feel ___" rather than "You make me feel ___"

Accept and acknowledge your feelings for a situation or person, rather than labeling the situation or person. For example, if you are standing in line for 20 minutes and are becoming irritated, accept that your are irritated over the situation, not that the situation is bad. Acknowledge your feeling of being annoyed with someone rather than telling them they are being a jerk.

Use your new-found knowledge of your feelings to help guide your decision making. Think about how you would feel if you did something, and how you would feel if you did not do it.

When you are angry about something, use your excess energy to change the situation, rather than make it worse. Use your anger productively and talk yourself into channeling the anger or frustration to create a better situation.

Always show respect for other people's feelings. Use phrases such as "How will you feel if I ________?

Acknowledge other's feelings. Just letting someone know that you can see or hear how they are feeling can accomplish a lot.

Create a desire to improve your situation. Always ask yourself what you feel now and what you can do to feel better. When talking with someone else always ask how they feel and what you or they can do to make themselves feel better. Develop a strategy of accepting your feeling and moving to create something better.

When talking with others, listen more than talk. Resist the urge to criticize, judge or make negative comments. Listen with understanding of their feelings, rather than judging their actions.

Watch who you spend time with. If you are spending time with people who are not concerned with your feelings, then try to spend less time with them. Find friends who will be empathetic to your feelings as well as those you can feel empathy for.